On the outside I’m not supposed to be broken but on the inside I’m constantly trying to hold everything together every day. I’m still trying every day. My fondest and happiest moment was the day I woke up from a dream where I found out I was going to die. Ecstatic is the word I would use to describe that feeling, I’ve never felt that way before nor have I felt that way since then. If feelings had a sound, everything negative would sound like nails scratching a chalkboard, overwhelming and disturbing. I can’t sleep without music, the quiet amplifies the noises in my head. They aren’t there but they are. They’re not supposed to be there but they are. Quiet. Be quiet, breathe but my heartbeat is too loud and the urge to shut it up is always tempting. Life is worth living, every pain and sadness you feel now will make happiness taste so much sweeter. I’ll tell this to you and smile, I’ll encourage you to find the little sweetness in everyday. I’ll hold you close and listen to your story, to help you find a stable ground to put your feet. I do that for others because I’m constantly having to tie my feet to the ground. Life is worth living because if you’re still here, then try. Even when you’re tired, try because you might just be able to help someone plant their feet. Try because you’re still here. I’m still trying every day, and when there are days when I’m a flight risk, I know I’m not the only one. You’re trying too.

Leave a Reply